‘Freedom day’

Four face masks with cartoon animals on them — Four masks from Sugar and Sloth

Tomorrow is ‘freedom day’ when the final lockdown restrictions are lifted. What freedom people are currently lacking is unclear but some things I’ve seen are – having to wear a mask, having to check in at shops and restaurants and not being able to meet as many people as they like, apparently this is oppression and we can’t keep wearing masks forever because it’s not normal.

After the first date for ‘freedom day was delayed anti-lockdown and anti-mask (or pro death) protesters marched through London demanding everything be opened up again. They walked passed open pubs, open cafes and restaurants with indoor dining and into an open shopping centre which then had to close because of the disruption they caused (I bet Alanis Morissette didn’t see that one coming).

Cases are rising rapidly despite vaccines, younger people are contracting the virus, there’s another mutation that has been allowed to spread rapidly and again we’re told that more people will die.

Freedom for disabled and chronically ill people looks quite different, the office of national statistics says that 2.2 million clinically extremely vulnerable (CEV) people were advised to shield. This meant not leaving the house at all unless absolutely necessary, many relied on government food boxes or support from local charities and mutual aid groups that sprung up during the pandemic.

People who are CEV especially those who are immunocompromised are getting told to shield, some people haven’t been out since the start of 2020 and the vaccine may not even work for immunocompromised people or those taking immunosuppressants. Since the start of the pandemic there’s been this message that it only affects the elderly and vulnerable, aside from this not being true these people are not disposable because they’re older or disabled but they’ve been throw under a bus and allowed to die in order to give other people their ‘freedom’.

The other other used phrase (apart from wake up sheeple which makes me want to stab someone in the eye) is of you’re scared stay at home and let people who want to live go out. People who are shielding don’t want to have to stay in or have to avoid contact with their partners, they don’t want to go a year without seeing anyone or not getting the medical or social support they needed and they shouldn’t have to stay in forever because others are too selfish to wear a mask or any other minor sacrifices.

July is disability pride month and once again disabled people are being left to die or excluded from society this time to please the people that are tired of the pandemic. We have to learn to live with the virus, let the bodies pile up on the street and pretend to care with gesture politics like clapping because making sure people can go to the football and trade deals with India are more important than saving lives.

July 18, 2021 0

Mental Health awareness week 2021

I am aware of mental health, I’m aware of Eating disorders, I’m aware of Autism and Tourette’s and Fibromyalgia, I’m even aware of Goths (yes there is a Goth awareness day) and I’m very aware of how tired of awareness days I am. At the moment there is (rightfully) a lot of focus on the mental health affects of the pandemic and lockdown, however those of us that struggled before feel like we’ve been yelling about social isolation and the 9 to 5 lifestyle being detrimental to our mental health for years but no one listened.

The thing about gaining awareness is its meaningless, how do you quantify awareness? How do you evidence it? What exactly is the aim?. People with mental health problems are aware of helplines and time to talk campaigns, we’ve heard all the talk to someone messages but who do we talk to? And what happens when talking isn’t enough? Or when no one listens?.

We’ve tried talking, we’ve asked for and begged for help, we’ve called the helplines, the crisis lines, we’ve been to a&e, walked until our shoes wore out, coloured in our colouring books, we’ve drank more tea than we can count and we’ve had a fucking bath. We do all the things we’re told because otherwise we get labelled as difficult or told we don’t really want help; since the pandemic started the already stretched services are at breaking point. There is no one to talk to.

The messages are well meaning but there is limit to what helplines can do and even being in contact with services doesn’t guarantee support. In the last two years three people I know have taken their lives and all three were known to services, being told to talk didn’t help them, awareness couldn’t save them, they had all tried talking, they had all tried reaching out.

In less than two weeks it’ll be two years since Juliette died.

This is why I don’t like awareness campaings they’re meaningless, hollow gestures with no real purpose or motive that don’t address the real problems or try to change the systematic problems with mental health services.

Please don’t tell me to reach out or talk or ask for help, I’ve done it for so long and I’m tired now.

For Nancy, for Juliette, for Ella.

May 13, 2021 0

You are creating all the bubbles at play

Two grey train station benches both with red signs warning people not to sit on them due to social distancing — Why are we waiting? Seats you can’t sit on

I’ve mostly avoided public transport and the public in general since March however in the last couple of weeks I’ve made my first trip south and back and used trains again. I know I’ve blogged about the difficulties of using public transport as a disabled person before but travelling during a global pandemic with social distancing measures makes it harder.

The current recommendations for distancing are two meters where possible or 1 meter+, buses have blocked off some of the seats, benches have every other seat taped up and all forms of transport are meant to limit how many people use it at a time, face coverings are also mandatory*

The problem is people who need to sit down and especially those in need of a priority seat are at a disadvantage, the majority of priority seats on buses are not in use, non disabled people** sitting in the seats nearest the doors on the trains force disabled people to walk down to train or stand and a lack of benches at stations again forces standing or sitting on the floor which is dirty and unpleasant even when there isn’t an increased health risks, despite wearing a hidden disabilities sunflower lanyard, a please offer me a seat and wrestling with a suitcase and mobility aids people still seemed still seemed oblivious to my existence (I don’t like asking in case someone is disabled).

A light green lanyard with small sunflowers printed on it — A sunflower lanyard from the hidden disability scheme

Masks are a struggle for some disabled people too, they’re claustrophobic for people with anxiety, can be difficult for people with sensory issues and can make communication hard for people who lip read.

There are many ways in which the pandemic is harder for disabled people than non disabled people especially struggles around accessibility and the easing of lockdown restrictions keeps bringing more challenges.

* Apart from people who are exempt

** I know I can’t tell just by looking at someone whether they’re disabled but I find it unlikely that every single person sitting at the front of the bus or nearest the train doors is disabled.

August 9, 2020 0

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